article by a learner from Inverness

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“The Little Girl”

This little girl is one of five and they live in poverty.  She has 2 sisters and 2 brothers.   She hasn’t had a happy life.   She feels she doesn’t belong in that family.   She gets on with her brother and one of her sisters but she’s always told to clean the house and do the shopping.   She goes to school, comes home at 3 pm and doesn’t even get in the house.   Her mother is at the door with a message list and she has to carry potatoes, 7 pints of milk, bread, tins of beans.  That’s a lot.

The little girl is only 11 years old.   Her mother used to sit about all day and do nothing.   The oldest sister made the dinner.   It was like that for years.   Then, one time, when she was at high school, her mother gave her a cheque to shop with.    It was a grant her mother got every year for clothes for school.   She gave the little girl the book and told her to get her uniform for school.   So she thought she would buy a bra.   Because you wore a white blouse you needed one, so she bought it.   The cost was £1.99 and she got a battering for buying it but she did need it.

As time went by, her big brother and sister left the house so she was left to cook, clean, bath her little brother and sister and even get them up for school because her mum was too lazy to get herself up, never mind any of the children.

They would all go to school and one particular day the little girl was needing to use the loo and ‘mother dear’ wouldn’t let her.   She said she was just wasting time.   So she ran to the shop, got 7lb potatoes, 7 pints milk, bread, beans and fags, and by this time she was nearly bursting.   She got to the door and banged on it, shouting, “I’m bursting!”   She dropped a pint of milk and it smashed.   Her mum came out and battered her because she had dropped the milk.   The little girl wet her pants.   She got another battering for that and when she went into the bathroom to clean herself, was told to hurry up and get the dinner made.  

Then her mum started drinking.   She was lovely when she was drinking.   When sober she was like the she devil - never cleaned, never made dinners, never went to the school plays, never checked to see if she or any of her family had homework to do.   She never cared for any of them - well that’s until you gave her drink. 

Her dad used to work all the time.   He did it to get away from her.   He would put between 10 and 15 pounds under her pillow so as she would get the dinner in.   One day her mother’s friend came down to visit and her mother said to her, “Don’t buy a lot of messages because I want a half bottle with the change.”

However, the little girl did spend all the money.   She gave her a battering for doing this and swore at her.   She punched her over a chair one time because she used all the money for messages.   She hated her mother for doing these things to her.   She wanted to die because of her.   She never forgave her for the things she did.   But she also blamed her dad for leaving her with it all.

Once the little girl was taken away for two weeks    She stayed with a family she had never seen before.   “Don’t get me wrong” she said, it was heaven - they did everything for her.   But she could not understand why she alone was sent away and the rest stayed with Mum and Dad.   She doesn’t know till this day.    After that she felt that she didn’t belong in that family.   She thought maybe they’d adopted her and changed their minds and didn’t want her.  

As the years went by the little girl was still doing the cleaning.   She felt like Cinderella, only without the happy ending.   She was made to clean her Mum and Dad’s bedroom.   They both smoked and they would leave cigarette ends all along the bedside cabinet.   She would have to take them off and clean the cabinet, as well as pick up dirty pants belonging to both them.   It was disgusting.   Her Mum would lie in her bed all day Sunday and peel the carrots in her bed.    The peeling would be everywhere.   She would have to clean them away.   Her dad would make soup on Sunday and she would do the dishes after dinner.  

The little girl remembered one Christmas - she was nearly 16 at this time - when she was asked out for her Christmas dinner with the boy upstairs and his two aunties.   Her dad gave her permission but warned her to be back for 10 pm.   Well, they went for a lovely meal.   It was her first time in a restaurant and she loved it.   Then, before any of them realised, it was 9.30 pm.   She asked David’s auntie to get a taxi because she knew she was going to be late and that she was in for a certain battering for enjoying herself.  

They got home about 11 pm.   The two ladies came in with her to let her dad know they were unable to get a taxi any earlier.   He said that was okay and they went away.   In spite of this she was put in the kitchen to do all the dishes and pots and pans from the family’s dinner.   She was in there from about 11.10 pm until about 1 am cleaning the kitchen and she hadn’t even been there to eat from the plates or use the pots she had to wash.   She was kept in the next day into the bargain to clean the house.   This was Boxing Day.

She never had a good Christmas apart from her invitation to the restaurant.   It was brill.

The Little Girl (continued)

She kept on seeing her boy upstairs but her parents didn’t like it.   She had to do the house work and it was harder to see this boy because they wouldn’t let her out.   They would find more and more things for her to do.   So she ended it.   Said she was too busy for boyfriends.  

That made her parents very happy.   Just about this time her big sister started taking the little girl to her house and things started to get better.   But ‘Mother dear’ was still drinking and Dad was still working hard as usual (at least that’s what he said).   She’ll never forget the day - it was on July 15^th - when her dad came in and said he was leaving.  

“It’s Mother,” he said.

He looked very sad and told her it was because she was always drinking.   The little girl looked at him and started to cry.  

“No you can’t!” She pleaded with him.  “I will go with you.  I’m not staying with her.   She will get worse if you go.   We will never have any food – she’ll drink all the money.”

“Anyway you’re our dad - you can’t walk away and leave.   You’re responsible for us - you brought us into this world - you can’t run out on us now!”

In the end he stayed   But he started to drink every weekend.   In her eyes Dad got as bad as Mother.   Only he kept his job – She thought it was his way of getting away from Mother.   But they were left with her all through the Summer.   That was the worst time ever because she would sit outside drinking alcohol.

She then got a weekend job in a greengrocer’s shop   She loved it except for the fact that her mum used to come to the shop on a Saturday afternoon and ask her for money for her alcohol.   She used to go to her Auntie’s to drink with her and their brother every Saturday and she would come home in the early hours of Sunday morning.   That’s why her Mother stayed in her bed all day Sunday.

Some years later she found out she had a sister   She found that her Mother had given her to her Auntie Betty.   She was about 24 years old when she found out and it was a shock   She’s never met her sister, though she has spoken to her on the phone.   She tried to get her sister to come and meet them, but she wouldn’t do it.  

She doesn’t know her surname because she got married.   She’s always wanted to meet her but nobody would tell the little girl her name or where she had moved to, so she’s has no means of contact.   And every time she would ask her Mother she would cry and say it wasn’t her fault.   But what she doesn’t understand is why she gave away her child then after that went on to have other kids.   So it’s always on her mind.

She would love to meet the sister she has never known because she’s been told she has 3 kids, so she’s got nieces or nephews out there she has never seen but would love to meet.   It feels as if there’s a part of her missing, and to meet her - that would be a bit of the jigsaw in place.

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It's quite sad isn't it?