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Greetings earth-people.  You’re looking at and listening to  R*RY09, I travel through space and time, now hear this loud and clear….

Locals found my name hard to mind, so they just cried me RUARIDH the ROCKET.  (so ye think that's easier to say?)

I have been coming back to your great wee country every year since the year 500 AD (we were all waving “cheerie-o” to all them Roman guys at the time). 

The changes I’ve seen over the years: tranquil glens are now theme-parks and worse; villages into big toons; land washed away; language change; simple-living folk now helpless wrecks-and that’s just Kilmarnock for starters!